A Behavioral Analysis on Vongola Decimo and his Famiglia
by There'sALeekInTheBoat
Summary: "Trial #137 has resulted in failure. Sawada Iemitsu continues to follow me, although now with an increase in questions about a 'girlfriend'. Also, Tsunayoshi advised that Trial #128 should not be replicated in his presence again. Or anyone's. Ever." Reine writes of the trials and tribulations of protecting and joining the Vongola Decimo and his family.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ayyy. I re-wrote this. So it's shorter. And cleaner. And just...just nicer. But this is just something to write. I do hope you guys will stick around, despite it being an OC and what not. PLEASE DON'T RUN AWAY SENPAI PLEASE. **

**I hope he isn't Mary/Gary Sue/Lou ish. **

* * *

><p><strong>A Behavioral Analysis on Vongola Decimo and Famiglia<strong>

_"As of today, trial #137 has shown to be a failure in deterring Sawada Iemitsu from my presence and has resulted in queries about a 'girlfriend'.Whatever that should be. Also, Tsunayoshi advises that #128 should not be replicated in his presence. Or anyone's. Ever." Reine writes on the trials and tribulations of protecting the Vongola Decimo and his family._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

…

"It's time to wake up." He opened his eyes, slightly lifting his head up to look at the speaker. A severe looking woman with sharp eyes loomed over him. "There were no problems I assume in your neuromemory downloads?" It wasn't necessarily a question.

The ten year old boy nodded as the woman pulled him forward, removing the cords connected to the base of his neck and skull. The nanometer needles easily slid out of his skin, although it did leave a fairly uncomfortable prickling sensation. The tubes fell to the floor and the woman led him out of the room, a single hand comfortingly set upon his shoulder. "It's study time for now, and then you'll be able to play with the other children."

The boy followed and as he did, they went past multiple rooms. All of them set in grey. People bent over desks and microscopes and standing in front of multiple tubes with strangely colored lights. A few, kinder people waved at him. Others turned away quickly. Eventually she led him to a room, far cozier than the other, which had been nothing but wires and cold tile.

Crimson carpet and wood paneling. Fireplace at one wall, an impressive collection of books on the other. And a grand piano sitting in the center of the room. There were no windows. But that was okay, he didn't much like when people looked in. His room had lots of windows.

She sat down at the piano, pulling up the cover. She sat patiently, waiting for him to pick a book. When he finally chose one, he sat down on the floor near her and traced the patterns on the carpet. "What did you choose today?" she asked, preparing her hands to play.

He lifted up the cover. "The Vongola's history?" She stood up, primly and elegantly, to tower over him. "A long and bloody history…perhaps not yet - not for a child…" Something in her tone made him wonder if she was unsure. But how could that be? She was always so sure. About everything really.

Curious, he opened the book. He was met by a portrait of several people, six men and one woman, each unique in appearance. All of them stood around a man sitting in the center. He wore eyes of gold.

He read the caption aloud, "Vongola Primo and his Famiglia." He looked back up at the woman biologically labeled as mother. "Is this man my father?" he asked, pointing at the man in the center.

His mother's own contribution to his features may have dulled the resemblance, but the fact that they were strikingly similar could not be ignored. "Sirica?" She did not respond. Her eyes were cloudy and she touched her abdomen, her fingers clenching slightly. Her face remained passive.

"He is simply a relative," she said dismissively. She ruffled his hair, trying to distract him with some attempt at physical affection. "Go read another book," she ordered, standing up and taking the book from his little hands.

For the next hour, Sirica thought he had been reading the_ Origin of Species_, but in reality he had gone back to reading the records. Vongola Primo… He touched the portrait, then touched his own face. He looked at his mother, then examined his appearance in the reflective surface of the piano. Dark hair, pale yellow eyes with the white complexion of a corpse. All from his mother. But the messy hair, his figure and the remaining contours of his face were left to take Primo's mould.

He wondered what his father was like. And…and if perhaps he could be smiling so brightly, like the people in the picture.

…

* * *

><p>…<p>

Reine started awake, rubbing his head. Scrambled. Confused. Empty. He tried very hard to remember but… whenever he had such odd dreams it seemed that they would slip from his fingers. He sat back into position and peeked through the hole, aiming the rifle through the opening.

"We'll poison Vongola Decimo with these and—"

"Bang! There goes the Vongola!"

The two men laughed. They lifted up a single poison dart, readying it to hit the would-be mafia don as he dueled with the Smokin' Bomb. Gokudera Hayato would be placed under all the blame for Tsunayoshi's death.

"EXTINGUISHING FIRES WITH MY DYING WILL!" screamed the targeted youth, as he was stripped of everything but undergarments. He ran about, Dying Will flame plastered on his forehead while defusing bombs at a most admirable rate.

"Double the bombs!" Hayato Gokudera called, letting the dynamite fly. The men readied their guns. From the trees, they had a clear shot. But they were wide open to the sniper concealed in the building. "Shit…triple the bombs-!" It was too much for the Smokin Bomb as he dropped the bundle. The dynamite scattered all over the ground. Sawada Tsunayoshi, still fighting with his Dying Will, ran forward to fulfill his purpose.

The perfect window.

Click. Click. Two bullets. Two bodies. Two (or three now with the addition of Yamamoto Takeshi) young men were safe and sound…for now. He turned on his radio, "I'm done."

The Arcobaleno down below smirked, answering back in the mic, "Excellent, I'm expecting the bodies to disappear-?"

"Already taken care of." A few local gangsters he coerced into an agreement appeared. They discreetly crawled over the gate, throwing the bodies into trashcans and pushing them away, pretending to be custodians as they went to dispose of the remains.

He thought he could hear disdain in Reborn's voice, "And these idiots actually know what they're doing? Color me impressed." As per usual, Reine didn't understand the sarcasm.

"Thank you." Then he tilted his head, thinking about the tone again. What a waste of breath. Clear communication was key to understanding, veiled insults and sarcastic slurs were anything but clear. Of course when he tried to explain as such the Arcobaleno simply laughed and called him a simpleton.

From the scope of his gun, he saw the baby shake his head, "You're almost as hopeless as Dame-Tsuna, Baka-Rei," he sighed, "See you tomorrow." Then the baby turned off his mic. "Good job, Dame-Tsuna, it's because of your strength that you got Gokudera as your subordinate. You've passed for today."

The look on the brunet's face said that he did not want to any such thing.

Yamamoto Takeshi laughed, "Oh? Is this a game? I want to play!"

"Don't be so familiar with the tenth you bastard!" The Smoking Bomb jumped up, his hands fingering his dynamites.

"Don't be mean Gokudera-kun, we're all friends here right?" Yamamoto laughed whilst Tsunayoshi bemoaned his bad luck. It was remarkable to watch the different facial expressions. He wondered why Tsunayoshi was always so surprised whenever someone interpreted his thoughts with those odd faces.

A few minutes later, a few upper years passed by, smoking and jeering at the young boy. "What a loser!" said one of them.

"What the-! I'll take care of them for you, tenth!" Gokudera lit his dynamite.

"Control your subordinates, Dame-Tsuna," the tutor said, as Gokudera began attacking the delinquents.

"Hieeeee, Gokudera-kun, please stop!" Vongola Decimo screeched. Reine twitched at the sound and lowered down the mic volume. Truly a dangerous weapon. He sat back, leaning against the wall of the enclosed space. He very much disliked tight spaces.

He had been stationed here for a week and he still hadn't been allowed to talk to Tsunayoshi. The Decimo certainly was fascinating. That, and he wanted to see his ward in person - as illogical as that sounded. After all, he could quite clearly see the boy from here. He supposed actual social interactIon did have an impact on the quality of a meeting. He jotted the revelation into his pocket book he titled, _An Analysis of the Sociological Behaviors of Humans and Experimental Applications._ (Belphagor said that it was just fancy term for a diary. Which Reine supposed was not entirely untrue. But when he confessed as such, Belphagor frowned and said he was 'no fun'.)

He felt that his research could not be conducted amongst those of the mafia who were called, 'abnormal'. After much convincing on his part, he was able to travel to Japan. Seeing as Reborn would also be there to train Decimo, the Ninth said he was reassured someone competent would be present.

And because Reborn was in charge, Reine had to leave Tsunayoshi to the Arcobaleno's machinations. Simple perimeter searches and safety measures only, no contact with the subject.

A pity. But he still was able to do research from observing the young mafia don. He didn't really know much about the young man, but he did know that the boy was extraordinarily weak, clumsy and his mental acuity, if being measured by his grades, was feeble at best.

But recently, he noticed that there were moments while he protected the young man that he wondered...The profile to be had on Sawada Tsunayoshi was both accurate and incorrect. A shame he was unable to interview the young man. Reconciliation would have to wait.

He had to hide in the numerous vents and tunnels placed throughout Namimori. After all, Reborn didn't "appear" out of nowhere as Tsunayoshi believed. After the children returned inside (Reine had ensured a clean uniform was set for his ward), he went on the move.

Perhaps conduct his studies as well as watch the classroom for potential danger. Crawling through the vents he stopped at the hallway and watched as the Demon Chairman began scaring away other students.

_Despite only walking through the hall, students appear to be frightened by his presence alone. Certainly the so-called, Demon of Namimori does exude a particular aura that indeed scares away any potential rivals to power. But how this aura works has yet to be determined. Perhaps it is his killing intent, which somehow makes itself known to the rather ignorant population. Combined with a history of violence and conveying his discontent through body language and facial expressions, they move away from him accordingly. _

_Perhaps - if replicable - this would be a viable repellent against Sawada Iemitsu. _

Seeing as Hibari had walked off, he crawled on and made his escape. Nothing new to be found, he went on to discreetly continue his daily routine of observing 'normal' people walk in their natural habitat - the park.

…

* * *

><p>…<p>

"How are you, my darling little son?" the CEDEF leader cooed, leaning in far closer than necessary to the camera.

Reine needed to remove Iemitsu from the camera so he could report his progress to someone else - preferably Basil. He sat up, looked down at the man, and scowled. "Get off the camera or I'll bite you to death."

"W-what?" The man looked shocked. Then he stretched his lips into that 'no-good' smile. "Did you meet a girl over there? Are you...experimenting?" Well, he had met many women here when he conducted surveys amongst the population. "Aw, my man is finally growing up! My little boy is now a big man! Who is she? Is she cute? Does she look like Maman? Who's going to be attached to my little duck?" What did women have to do with ducks?

"What was that boss?" A bespectacled woman with pinkish tinted hair appeared on screen. "Is this true Reine? You've got a girlfriend?" He supposed that was true. Oregano was both female and his acquaintance.

Another man, Turmeric, peered into the camera as well, "Girlfriend? What's this I hear? Really?" Soon enough, there was small crowd forming around the computer. Why they were here and not carrying out their duties was beyond him.

The CEDEF boss appeared very smug. "That's right, my cute older son's gotten a girlfriend. She's so beautiful (not as beautiful as my Nana) but wonderful! And Rei-chan's introducing me to her next week - isn't that right Rei-?"

The nineteen year old slammed his laptop shut. Pulling out his notebook in his pocket, he added a note.

_While the Hibari Maneuver has a 95% success rate here amongst the inhabitants of Namimori, it proves ineffective against Sawada Iemitsu. Trial #128 had been deemed a failure. _

_Iemitsu along with other members of CEDEF seem to consistently ask whether I have had a 'girlfriend'. Whilst it has been explained that I do - in fact - have acquaintances of the opposite sex, they argue that such a thing is not the same. An odd discrepancy. It is to be assumed then, by analyzing local Namimori colloquialisms and behavioral patterns that they possibly mean to refer to a companion of a sexual nature. Whatever that should be. _

_Why such questions have risen in frequency, has yet to be determined. A theory is because Vongola Ninth says I am of marriageable age. But when I pressed him for information he refused to enlighten me. When I am in contact with Vongola Ninth once more, I shall ask again now that I am 'older'. As he promised he would answer last year._

…

* * *

><p>...<p>

Reine was hiding in the vents of the boxing club's room. Today was the day Tsunayoshi and Ryohei were set to duel in the boxing ring. "Sawada! You're so popular that even an elder of Thai Boxing came all the way from Thai to see you. Master Pao Pao!" Reine came up with that name.

Reine was not very good at making names.

"Pao," Reborn said, wearing the odd blue elephant hat on his head matching his blue boxing gloves. Leon had morphed into a miniature elephant for the occasion. It seemed that no one had been able to tell that it was Reborn in a costume. When he told Iemitsu that when Reborn had pretended to be a porcupine, the man laughed and pretended that the hitman was doing no such thing. Strange.

"I'll refuse to join the boxing club with my dying will!" Ah, another pair of pants to replace. And a shirt. And a tie. It was a good thing that Reine and Iemitsu continually sent money to Nana or else Tsunayoshi wouldn't have been able to replace the uniforms he lost each week.

"Join, join, join, join the boxing club!" screamed the boxer, as he attacked the smaller male with a barrage of punches.

"No, no, no, no! I refuse!" And so the young Decimo punched the boxer straight out of the ring. Soon enough, the boxer recovered quickly, intent on continuing the match. Such resilience. It was amazing what the human body could withstand. Or Ryohei was a unique individual. He would write down his observations later.

Soon enough, the one named Kurokawa Hana ran in, proclaiming that Sasegawa Kyoko was in danger. In a few minutes, a number of men and teenaged boys appeared, carrying a flag that said 'Namimori Karate Club.' They wanted recruit Miss Sasegawa to be their manager. Something about wanting a delicate flower in their presence. If Reine had known such a thing, he would have bought a bouquet for them.

"Feel free to fight as you will," Reborn said to the students, but Reine knew just as well that this was an order. He loaded his gun, preparing the special paint bullets he had received in the mail. These bullets had to be tested at one point.

From the ensuing assault (if such a sloppy formation could be called that): red caused rashes, blue acted like tear gas, green was paralysis, yellow was simply a rubber bullet. Good for...hmmm...perhaps against petty thugs and students but they had...very little purpose beyond that. A pity. He would have to ask Giannini to fix this later.

If there was one thing particularly out of the ordinary this day was Tsunayoshi. The boy who was fragile. He put his finger on the trigger, when the karate captain attacked the young boy. But he needn't have wasted his time. Tsunayoshi had countered - Tsunayoshi had countered and knocked the older boy down without entering Dying Will Mode. The Vongola Decimo was growing stronger. He felt...oddly light, thinking about the boy's growth.

It shouldn't have been so surprising. Reborn was training him after all.

He sat back, sighing. Then he suddenly remembered something. "Extreme punch…" he muttered, and he pulled out his pocket book to write. Yes...yes this would work.

…

* * *

><p>…<p>

This time, Reine mailed his usual report via first class and express. Today, he would be getting a reply back as well as another care package. He hoped that Lal Mirch had been the one to send it. Or Basil. Or anyone but him.

The moment he opened it, he was met by a loud explosion. All noise and dust clouds. Admittedly, it had shocked him more than he cared to admit. He knelt down, pulling out a small black suitcase placed carefully inside the package and opened it. It turned out to be a case loaded with…

Condoms.

A small screen set onto one side of the suitcase cover flickered to life and showed the external advisor smiling on the screen. He had a black eye.

"Now, now Papa knows that as a young adult you're very irritable! So I took the courtesy of providing all the necessary material." He took out an ice pack, rubbing his face, "I know all you young men are all shy about your love lives, but Papa understands, he really does! So…" The man's eyes actually turned serious, "Whenever you need me, I'll be there for you." His eyes drifted to something offscreen, his smile…somehow sad. "You and Tsuna."

Had that last part actually been true then perhaps the words would have had more of an impact.

"So have fun making lots love! I want to hear about your engagement by the end of the-" Seeing as how Iemitsu was being 'no-good', the young man slammed the briefcase shut. He searched the package, thoroughly checking its contents. But he only found the automated punching glove he had packed for the external advisor - broken beyond repair. A shame, but not completely hopeless.

He took out his notebook, and recorded the results once more.

_It seems that the Ryohei Removal method has failed. Despite the enclosed warning with the report which contained an explicit warning for Iemitsu to pass my report to someone else, he chose to disable it. He then filled the return package with fornicating devices with which I have no interest in. Sexual reproduction has already been covered in my formal education - yet Iemitsu seems to persist in discussing such banal topics. _

_The fist, while appearing to have made contact with the man's face, failed in relegating the proper amount of paralytic poison laced in the fabric. It appears that he hoarded the package and persisted in believing in the misunderstanding he created._

_While Trial #129 has failed, the use of a heads on approach is not without merit. If the Ryohei Removal can be improved in one way or another, then perhaps the chance for success will increase. _

Closing the book he sighed. His eyes moved to the black case. Such an inordinate amount was unnecessary. And...disgusting. He turned on his phone, "Reborn, do you have any spare explosives?"

He felt a somewhat guilty for using Gokudera's dynamite, but he felt far more satisfied watching the entire thing burn.

…

* * *

><p>…<p>

Reine didn't understand people.

He understood physics, calculus, chemistry, anatomy. He understood the mechanics of battle, the codes of honor, the rules of war.

And yet…

"Don't ever come back, you freak!" the manager hissed as he pushed the young man out of the quaint cafe at the corner of town. Dusting off his jacket, he turned around to see through the window the man who had been inappropriately advancing upon the waitress be apologized to and pampered by the manager.

From past observations - as far back as in the mafia, when a man touches an unwilling woman on or near her sexual characteristics that is considered to be inappropriate and the woman is therefore justified in dismissing the man's actions with aggressive force. When she is unable to do so, anyone in the vicinity is obligated to provide aid. The woman had very blunt and useful instruments all about and at her disposal. And yet, she did nothing. When she complained to her manager and co-workers, they did nothing. It was strange.

If it was wrong, then why do they just sit there? When the man pulled her into his lap and assaulted her, he stood up and dumped his tea on the man. Afterwards, he proceeded to slap the man across the face. Thirteen times consecutively. Just as Lal Mirch taught him.

But he had only gotten three consecutive hits before the manager came to remove him from the premises. The waitress refused to look at him. Everyone that he passed discussed in low voices how awful he had been. He wondered if the definition of sexual harassment was different in this country.

_Despite following normal protocol to it seems that I have failed to control emotional impulses and the consequences that inevitably follow. As indicated by a precious encounter, a direct confrontation in a 'social' situation produces unfavorable results ranging from gossip to removal from the premises._

_So far in my studies, I have noted that in Namimori particularly, the policy of 'watching and waiting' is paramount. People who see such disturbances tend to walk away and overlook it or simply watch whilst recording it for whatever reason. Unlike the mafia world, this appears to be completely acceptable._

Despite the advice of several therapists that writing the source of one's woes were a form of stress relief, it did little to relieve him of anything. He remained wholly irritated.

As he walked down the street, he was pulled aside into a nearby alley. He nearly punched the young waitress who held onto him. Thankfully, he refrained. The woman was oblivious to any risk he posed and spoke, "Look, I don't want you to get the wrong idea. That was...it was a good thing you did for me back there - thank you." She smiled at him, and held his hand in both of hers. "You're a good person but…" she trailed off, frowning, "You can't just do that willy-nilly or else you could get hurt."

Reine didn't understand how so. It wasn't out of arrogance to say that he would not get hurt by those people. He was stronger than them and that was that. She shook her head when he tried to tell her that. "Well, if you're strong, what about everyone else? Please, don't be so rash again. Especially when you're dealing with the yakuza."

"So even if they're in the wrong, I must turn my head?" he asked, his back turned to her as she walked out of the alley. He could hear her stop, her feet shuffling awkwardly. "Won't the weak still get hurt?"

She sighed, exasperated. "It's...not that simple." She continued to walk away.

Was it really?

It seemed that this world would forever continue to baffle him. The 'normal' world praised those who acted for the enforced the rules and did what was socially correct. Those who acted were praised as doing the right thing. But why do they say otherwise when the crux of the matter was the same?

He heard a shriek. He ran about on the street and heard it come from the alley the waitress left in. Following the sound, he saw the same man from the restaurant with several other men hovering over the waitress. She was crying while the man, apparently the leader, pulled at her hair and kicked her.

"Stop, please!" she screamed, but the men laughed at her as she cried.

"Little bitch, who was that bastard - your boyfriend?" he sneered, and then snapped his fingers.

One of the men took out a camera, "Guess he'll really love it if I evidence of all the things I'm going to do to you…" he trailed off and the woman whimpered and pleaded as the man advanced towards her.

Reine stepped forward. "I'd prefer not to receive vulgar things in the mail. I will decline your offer of evidence." He walked out from his spot behind the wall and aimed his pistol at the yakuza's head. The man stopped attempting to unbutton the woman's blouse to look at him.

"Oh-ho, so it's the man of the hour himself!" the man said, stretching his hands out to him as if asking for a hug.

Reine repeated himself, ignoring the men surrounding him. "I hold no interest in your machinations. Please leave."

The man did not leave and sneered, lighting a cigarette and puffing out the smoke in his direction. Reine crinkled his nose. Irritating.

His eyes drifted to the man's shirt, which still held the tea stains. As if noticing his gaze, the man pulled aside his coat, showcasing the stain as well as the gun underneath. "Well, well, sweetheart, I can't exactly do that. Look at the big ol' stain you made on my shirt? And somebody's gotta pay for it."

"Then I will. This scene is unnecessary." The men didn't stop. They made a circle, each removing a gun or a knife.

The man sneered, "Or what, little prince?" The man stepped forward, pulling out his pistol and coming close. "Look at you, pretty little thing all surrounded by wolves. Won't it be fun to see how much pain you can handle before croaking?" He gestured for the men to grab Reine. "I'll make sure the lovely lady sees it too." He snickered as the woman pleaded and begged for the leader to make the men stop.

"Run!" she screamed, "Just go while you still can—-ah!" The man stepped on her chest, cutting her air off.

Reine closed his eyes. The men jeered. "Look, the brat's giving up already?"

"Booring, I was looking forward to watching that. Would have been a good laugh."

"What? A fight with those scrawny little arms? I bet he wouldn't even lay a scratch on us!" They stepped forward, knives and guns drawn.

One.

The first man didn't know he had died until he touched his throat.

Two. Three.

Two bullets in two skulls.

Four.

He took a dagger, stabbing the closest man. He turned them around, the body's back facing the barrage of bullets instead of Reine himself.

Five. Six. Seven.

He used the hole in the man's chest to shoot his gun in safety.

Eight. Nine.

The other two tried to run away. He shot them down before they could.

Ten.

"W-who…Who the fuck are you?!" He used one hand to wield a .27 caliber pistol. Too weak. The shot went wide as Reine came in close, hitting the gun just as it went off. He twisted the man's arm, shoving the barrel at the man's trembling neck. "N-no…"

"Goodbye."

And the last one shot himself.

So yet another story will appear on the news of how yet another yakuza group fell apart due to 'infighting.'

Reine should have released the body .05 seconds after applying pressure to the trigger. It was with morbid fascination that he watched the blood flow. And it was with disgust that he wiped away the stain on his cheek. Complete and utter disgust.

He looked for the woman, who had been in danger, and saw her edging away, her eyes wide with terror. He walked over, thinking she had been hurt and needed aid. She screamed and shoved him away, "You're...you're one of t-them!" she stammered, "G-get away! D-don't touch me, you monster!" she screamed, tears in her eyes as she frantically ran out of the alleyway.

For a while, Reine just stood there, confused. He started moving again when he heard the sirens call. As he scaled the building to make his escape, he found his eyes drawn to an old window on one of the buildings. The surface showed the faded image of a young man, no more than nineteen years, staring back, with features similar to a corpse.

_Little else can be said about today's findings. Afterwards, I followed the same routine and continued on as per usual. Such quotidian events are hardly worth remembering — much less recording._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hey. Hey. I hope this isn't too bad. I hope. Let's see where this train wreck is going right? Right. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: And this story is still here. At least it was rewritten. Nice and short and nice. Hopefully. I hope this is okay. Things were edited and fixed. Hopefully it isn't enough to send you running in the other direction. **

**Disclaimer: I disclaim things that I don't own. KHR being one of them. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

Reine was enjoying a somewhat peaceful morning. He had disposed of fifteen assassins that had been chasing not only Sawada Tsunayoshi, but also his new famiglia members. They were becoming rather creative. Spiking the boys' drinks, filling the desks with poison, even trying to embed knives into the toilets as grotesque traps.

Today was the sixty seventh attempt. Today was also bear trap day with all of the contraptions strewn about the streets for Tsunayoshi's return. He wondered how the men would ever expect to catch the young Vongola don, or anyone for that matter, if they left the traps in such a conspicuous manner. Perhaps the sheer amount compensated for a lack of subtlety.

He didn't much like the job. It was tedious for a single person. He didn't have a choice. Pochi, the neighborhood chihuahua, nearly stepped in one. It would be suspicious if the dog died. Tsunayoshi had enough allegations of crime as it was.

It was fortunate that Namimori policemen accepted low value bribes.

The dog began to nip at his pants. "Are you hungry?" he asked the little dog, as it scampered around him and barked.

He picked up the small canine, cradling it in his arms. "Very well. I do believe that I can procure something useful." The dog barked in reply, nuzzling into his chest. There was something strangely soothing in speaking to Pochi, even if the dog could not understand nor respond. He once had a pet rabbit when he first came to the Vongola, but it disappeared soon after he had been inducted into the ranks. It had been so long, he had forgotten what it felt like.

He had a bad habit of forgetting things.

Ever since the Vongola found him, he had been cautious in remembering. Although only the things he deemed important. Anything extraneous would be clutter.

When he was roughly the age equivalent of 10 he had been found on the edge of Vongola headquarters. His name was the only thing that he could remember — all else was gone.

The Vongola Ninth, believing his resemblance to the son of Sawada Iemitsu too close to be coincidental, took custody of him. Reine had always wondered if the frequent tea visits were loyalty tests. He was sure to answer carefully. But the man seemed discomfited by his answers each time. It made him wonder, at times, how he was still alive. The Ninth seemed one not to take chances with potential traitors. As evidenced by…

Since he had woken in Vongola HQ he took precautions not to forget again. It was troublesome, forgetting. Speaking of which, how long had he been out here? He must have forgotten the time…He checked his watch. When did Tsunayoshi return from school again?

He barely managed to evade his young ward barreling down the road. "H-Hieeeeee!" The familiar wail made Reine freeze, and out of sheer reflex, he jumped. Over the fence. Into some faceless home in Namimori. Not the most prudent course of action.

He didn't pay much attention to it at the time. He just stood close to the wall, waiting and listening. "Ow...Reborn! What the hell?!" Tsunayoshi. An uncomfortably close call.

"A mafia boss ought to have better reflexes." The Arcobaleno seemed pleased. The entire incident began to feel less than coincidental.

"That doesn't explain all the bear traps!" Ah...he hadn't gotten to finish had he? "And I nearly ran over someone!" Reine began to back away from the wall. Sawada Tsunayoshi continued to yell at his tutor, "I think he fell in there, we have to help him-!...H-hieeeee! Hibari-san?!"

...He hardly heard the Demon Chair approach. Was it wrong to feel relieved that someone came to distract Tsunayoshi in a way that most likely led to pain? Ah, well his young ward wouldn't be severely beaten. Only moderately. Little danger with Reborn present.

"For disturbing the peace, I'll bite you to death." Tsunayoshi's subsequent shriek made him cringe. He hadn't needed a microphone to hear what was occurring. From past observations of the Hibari Maneuver, people tended to look dumbfounded, then shriek, then run in the other direction while Hibari attacked.

He waited until the shrieks died down. After the sound had been reduced to a tolerable volume, he peeked over the wall. The street was clear. He patted Pochi on the head, "Thank you for not barking." The dog licked his chin.

Reine was about to take his leave when the backyard door opened. "And now, intruders will be punished." It was the only warning he received before a tonfa came towards his face. He managed to dodge by a hair's breadth. The Disciplinary Chair returned quicker than expected. "What are you doing here, herbivore?" He narrowed his eyes. Grey was a very cold color. Suitable, Reine supposed, for a person such as this.

The bodyguard stayed silent and placed the small dog onto the ground. It barked before scampering away.

"Just as well then." Hibari Kyoya brandished his weapons, "I'll bite you to death."

There was little warning beyond that. Blow after blow rained down upon him. He was forced to dodge and flip his way through the spacious yard. He should have paid more attention to where he had landed. To find that he had ended up in the home of Kusakabe Tetsuya, a sub-base for Namimori's Disciplinary Committee was unpleasant.

He could see other Disciplinary members building up at the door, Kusakabe Tetsuya being most prominent among them. They did not come close, not enough to incite the wrath of the Committee Chair, only watching.

"Stop running, herbivore," Hibari hissed, as Reine continued to dodge. He sidestepped the oncoming spiked tonfas, leaning back as Hibari charged forward. Reine twirled away from the weapons and stuck out his leg, tripping the younger man.

Instead of falling to the ground, the Disciplinary Chair let himself trip and used his other leg to spin his body back into a proper stance. The friction against the ground left behind dust trails as The Demon of Namimori slid back on the ground. Oddly enough he seemed not bothered by the passive attack. His eyes shined brighter and he bared his teeth in a vicious grin.

Hibari Kyoya was someone to be feared. Continuing to run, Reine's back soon hit the wall. The Disciplinary Chair smirked, one arm pulled back to barrel steel into his opponent's head.

At the last second, a gun scraped past the incoming tonfa — shoving it out of its intended destination.

…Even when faced with the barrel of loaded gun, Hibari still found a reason to smile — if such an expression could be called such. "Who are you, herbivore?" Reine had his gun pressed against the teen's forehead. His other hand held back the prefect's other arm, the tonfa aimed to strike his stomach.

However, the teenager had his tonfa placed against Reine's cheek. Were such spiked weapons legal?

"No one." He could feel Hibari tense. The Disciplinary Chair was quite prepared to beat the answer out of him. Reine didn't give him the chance. Shoving the prefect away, he ran full speed towards the wall, jumping over at the last second. He certainly hoped the Disciplinary Committee would return Pochi to his home…Bribery for dropping theft charges was a most tedious affair.

He was forced to sweep past other pedestrians and avoid the wary eyes of the Vongola Decimo's famiglia. But even scaling buildings, jumping from rooftops, and sliding down walls was not enough to deter the teenager from chasing him. Hibari Kyoya was…inconveniently persistent. Before long, Reine found himself cornered, having nowhere to go but the old shrine at the edge of Namimori.

He had no choice but to confront the prefect here. Turning on his heel, he watched as the dark-haired youth approached. Diplomacy was not his strongest tactic, but he tried nonetheless. "There are many others willing to fight you. Why have you followed me so far?"

"Those who disturb the peace must be punished." Hibari flashed his tonfas and glared, "You will fight me." Diplomacy was difficult.

The teenager charged at him. The killing aura the prefect wore was almost palpable. An ordinary person would have buckled under the pressure. But Reine was not ordinary. And as much as he wished otherwise, today he could not be 'normal'. He removed the rifle on his shoulder, pulling off a slender metal cylinder at the top. He let the flames wrap around his fingers. The chair's eyes widened at the sight. "You cannot win against me the way you are now, Hibari Kyoya." And he said this not as a statement of arrogance - it was fact.

…

_After defeating Hibari Kyoya, the Disciplinary Chair seems intent on following me and forcing me in battle. He refuses to accept any weapon besides the bow in battle and threatens to reveal my presence to Sawada Tsunayoshi. I am not allowed to eliminate the Vongola Decimo's famiglia. _

_So now, I have become - as dubbed by Reborn - a sparring dummy. It is with regret that I am unable to avoid confrontation. Despite the secret tunnels to conceal my presence, something has drawn Hibari Kyoya to every hiding place. Hibari Kyoya says my scent as an omnivore is easy to detect. I have bathed regularly with no aromatic soap or detergent. I have also adopted a vegetarian diet. But Hibari Kyoya continues to find me without fail._

_As several other civilians of Namimori have displayed, it is apparently quite normal to initiate the activity of 'stalking' after a lost battle. Apparently the damage in one's pride or social standing pushes the loser to feverishly pursue the winner for whatever reason. While these results are not beneficial to Iemitsu repellent development, it is prudent to remember I should not attempt to defeat or allow life for any undesirable in battle to avoid increasing the number of stalkers following me._

_One is quite enough._

...

* * *

><p>…<p>

Reine was walking through town. Reborn had dismissed him again today. Things were not busy, he was doing his job well. A positive thing to report to the Ninth and CEDEF. The tutor also wanted Tsunayoshi to deal with the more dangerous situations now. And Reine had no idea what to do on his break. His daily schedule consisted of protecting Tsunayoshi and his studies.

It was also rather difficult to collect studies with the Disciplinary Chair disturbing his sample groups.

He found himself wandering through downtown Namimori. His young ward and his famiglia were at school, though whether Hibari Kyoya was there or making his patrols left Reine on edge.

So he resolved to walk silently and remain inconspicuous. He would watch the 'normal' people quietly and without interference.

To say that he followed the above statement was a lie.

A strange boy clung to his leg out of joy and the mother pried her young son off with a mixture of apologies and gratitudes. "Did you see him? He flipped off the tree, like a Power Ranger!" the boy squealed excitedly as he was being pulled away.

"Yes, yes that's nice Toshi-kun but why don't you say thank you to the nice man who helped you?" the woman said, looking up at Reine with a face he interpreted as uncomfortable.

The little boy named Toshi-kun hugged his leg, "Thank you onii-san!" The woman smiled down at her son and patted his shoulder gently. She smiled very warmly at him before pulling her son away. Well, it wasn't as if he could ignore the screaming and crying child. It was fairly disruptive to an otherwise, peaceful environment.

In the crowd, he thought he saw the pointy black hair of a disciplinary committee member taking a picture of him. Quickly, he ducked behind a large group of pedestrians and ducked behind the nearest store to hide. A restaurant of some sorts. He didn't pay much mind to it, only ducking down into a booth. Perhaps if he waited here long enough, the Disciplinary Committee would forget about him.

"Hey sir, we're closed right now!" He looked up. The owner didn't look at all pleased with him.

"I…My apologies." Reine stood up bowing slightly. In the corner of his eyes, he thought he could see the strange hairstyle of the Disciplinary Committee sticking out from the bushes.

The owner crossed his arms, scrutinizing him. Then he sighed and shook his head. "On second thought, feel free to stay, you look like you're gonna drop dead." …Was that really possible? The odd man patted him firmly on the shoulder. "Oi, Takano! Get the tea out, we're taking a lunch break!"

"Sure thing boss!" The man called Takano stuck his head out of the kitchen, pulling out a tray of tea. "Who's this - new employee?"

"Nah, just somebody who could use a break - hey, you like sushi?" When all Reine did was stare, the man yelled back at the man named Takano, "Hey, get out some of a few rolls and plums Takano! Let's have a little party for our guest here!"

"Sure thing, boss!" Reine could hear the other man moving about in the kitchen. He wondered why the owner had allowed him to stay. And the man's face...it seemed familiar, yet he couldn't place where he had seen it. Takesushi? Take…Take…Take…

He opened his book and flipped through the pages, wondering where in the world he had seen this man's face. "Oi, it's rude to read like that without talking you know." Reine flinched at the elder man's expression. He seemed incredibly offended. Then it cleared up. "Hah! No need to make that face, I'm just joking. Yamamoto Tsuyoshi," he said, sticking out his hand, "And you're…?" Oh. So that's why the man had seemed familiar. Yamamoto Takeshi's father… this would not end well.

He hesitantly took the other man's hand. He was supposed to grab this and shake it like the Ninth showed him. "I'm…no one."

The man raised an eyebrow, "Well you have to be someone, Mr. No one. Though if you don't want to say that's fine. But you look like you could take a break, not been sleeping well?" he gestured to Reine. Did he look tired? He supposed he had not been sleeping well as of late and his chest had been hurting a lot more nowadays — though he'd never report that. Hibari Kyoya's constant tailing also wasn't very healthy, for him or the chairman.

He touched the bandage on his cheek, a mark left from spiked tonfas, "I suppose my health has not been...satisfactory as of late."

The old man laughed, "Satisfactory? Such big words. You're a funny guy!"

Had he said the wrong thing again? He...he wasn't ever good at small talk. When there were formal occasions he was forced to attend with the Vongola Ninth, he had always stayed silent or…scared them. What did that book say to do again? His fingers twitched for the 'Small Talk for Dummies' Reborn had given him in his pocket. When the man stopped laughing and things got quiet he tried to follow the steps.

Step 1: Introduce yourself! Be sure to show that you're interested in the conversation and keep the topic light and easy. Warning: Avoid topics like religion, politics and the weather.

"Um…the weather is nice today?"

Tsuyoshi raised a brow, "Really? I'm not fond of cloudy days, makes customers and me, sleepy."

...Reine didn't know what to say to that.

Step 2: Look for common interests to set a common ground! Make sure to be attentive and listening to what the person has to say. Engage the person!

"..."

"..."

Reine coughed. "Um...how is your son?"

The man looked at him suspiciously, "How did you know I have a son?"

He floundered but a second before his eyes latched onto some form of salvation. "There's a picture of you and a young man over there on the wall." He pointed at the picture behind the man.

Yamamoto Takeshi's father immediately relaxed and the man was laughing, "Oh, you have good eyes. Yeah, that's my son, he's a great baseball player, real devoted. Not so great at the cooking though…" The man cringed at some old memory.

"...I see."

"..."

"..."

Step 3: Leave behind a good finish. When you go, make sure you let the person know that you were genuinely interested and enjoyed the conversation.

He stood up and looked at the clock. "I must be going." It was almost three, Yamamoto Takeshi could be back at any moment.

The man stood up too, grabbing his shoulder, "Oh? But the tea hasn't even come out yet! And you've got try out these plums, Mrs. Kanda always has the best fruit." Reine hesitated. The man looked rather disappointed that he was leaving. "Come on, it's no trouble. Nothing wrong with taking a breather every once in a while." Perhaps he had been a bit too forward? "Okay." He reluctantly sat back down.

…

He couldn't remember the other steps. Start again from Step 1? 2? What should he do…? "Yo, boss here they are!" The man named Takano came out of the kitchen placing a tray of tea and another with a plate of sushi and a bowl of sliced plums.

Reine shifted over so that the Takano man could sit. But he didn't need to, the Takano man turned to his boss, "I gotta step out for a bit, Pochi's been a bit antsy and needs to go to the vet today."

"Oh, sure! Go on ahead!" He waved the Takano man off and the two of them watched the employee leave. Pochi...he certainly hoped that he hadn't been the cause.

He flinched when he felt something cold press against his cheek. "Here, try one!" Yamamoto Tsuyoshi smiled even brighter when he took the plum from the man's hand.

"…It's good." He was a bit surprised. He remembered something Leviathan had said about plums.

_"Plums are for the weak!" And the spiky-haired man stomped off, covered in the fruit and dripping juice everywhere._

He didn't know why the man thought so, but he didn't argue. He trusted Leviathan. Though why he would hold a vendetta against fruit Reine wasn't sure.

The elder man laughed at him, "You look like you've never had plums before, boy do I wish I had a camera…" When Reine didn't protest and just stared at him with the same blank expression, the man's big smile turned into incredulity. "R-really? You've never had plums before?"

Reine shook his head. The man stared at him intensely and the younger man shifted uncomfortably. "Never ever?"

"No." The elder Yamamoto shook his head. Should he have researched the fundamentals of food before he got here? He didn't much take to the idea of cooking like Lussuria had wanted.

"Well we're going to have to change that, aren't we?" the old man said, giving Reine the thumbs up after passing the sushi to the young man. It was surprisingly good. Italy didn't exactly serve raw fish too often. And he had no desire to procure parasites trying it — no matter the research. The elder Yamamoto gave him the thumbs up. "It's good right?"

"...Yes - thank you." Reine nodded deferentially to the Yamamoto elder.

"No problem, go ahead and dig in - it's on the house!" Then, the man ruffled his hair. As if realizing what he just did, Tsuyoshi pulled back, "...Sorry, guess old habits die hard. You just remind me of Takeshi when he was younger."

"Yo, old man, I'm back!" a familiar voice called.

Twisting around in his seat, Tsuyoshi waved to his son. "Speak of the devil, he's here! I'd like you to meet my son…?"

Immediately, before Yamamoto Takeshi could enter and see him, Reine ducked under the table. "Oh? Are you having someone over?"

Tsuyoshi stood up, "Yep, he seems pretty shy though." The old man knelt down to look at Reine, "C'mon, Takeshi isn't going to bite."

Reine shook his head furiously. Perhaps it was childish and drew more attention, but he absolutely refused to come out. What would Reborn say? Tsuyoshi sighed, "Well, looks like he doesn't want to come out."

A pause. "Oh? Ahaha, that's fine! I'm going to go hang out at Tsuna's house, that okay with you Dad?"

"Sure, go have fun, Takeshi!"

"See ya!" Yamamoto Takeshi soon left the premises.

The Yamamoto elder knelt down again, tapping him on the shoulder, "Out you go. My big, bad scary son is gone now." When Reine looked at him, there was no teasing, no condescending aura. Strange, but refreshingly so. Quietly, he pulled himself out from under the table. "Didn't take you for a shy guy, but I guess you learn new things each day,"

"I must get going…" Reine said, pulling away and stepping around the owner. "I...I have an appointment to attend." Really, he just wanted to leave. It was nice but...the risk of being seen by Tsunayoshi and his famiglia was too high.

"Already? Well, guess it was nice meeting you Mr...you know what? I'll come up with a name for you then - since you don't want to give me yours." The man rubbed his chin in thought, before stopping, "Oh! Wait here, I'll be right back!" Tsuyoshi ran off into the back, rummaging through the kitchen.

"Here we are!" Yamamoto Tsuyoshi came out, carrying a small bag and he passed it to Reine. Looking inside, he found them full with plums. "Seeing as how I had the honor of seeing you with your first plum I'll call you Umeko*!" He patted Reine roughly on the shoulder, "I'll be seeing you, right? Gets a little boring without Takeshi out and about nowadays."

The elder Yamamoto's expression suddenly gave way to something older.

He pondered the statement. He had read that social interaction was paramount in maintaining mental health. Seeing as how Tsuyoshi was Yamamoto Takeshi's father and Sawada Tsunayoshi's famiglia member, he supposed it _was_ his job to care for those that influenced and affected the health of the Vongola Decimo and his famiglia. He supposed the man could be inserted in the mission as well. "Okay."

"Great! Heh, I'll show you a bunch of new things when you come back, eh? I look forward to seeing you again, Umeko!" And with that, Reine left, waving goodbye to the sushi chef.

It was only when he returned to his apartment, bag full with the strange little plums that he realized… "Isn't Umeko a female name?"

He supposed it didn't matter - female or male, as long as one had a name. And Yamamoto Takeshi would know nothing of Reine's appearance. What mattered was that he record his findings now that Yamamoto Tsuyoshi was deemed important.

_[Scribbled in the margins of "Small Talk for Dummies"]_

_Step 4: When all else fails, eat plums. Apparently the use of food is rather effective in establishing a common ground as Yamamoto Tsuyoshi has explained to me. Something to do with food - as quoted - touching the heart. I have feared that this would cause a severe medical emergency and have prepared for such an event by equipping TakeSushi with the necessary materials to perform an emergency autopsy and have provided warning signs in case of choking._

_However, when I first arrived with supplies, Tsuyoshi declined and laughed. The entire operation seems to have aided in some shape or form to Tsuyoshi's mental health as he appears to smile more and laugh more often - both signs of happiness and contentment as dictated in several research papers._

…

* * *

><p>…<p>

The next time Reine was on duty was when Reborn sent Tsunayoshi to the zoo. It was rather late in the day and the sun was already beginning to set. At the moment however, he wasn't exactly watching Tsunayoshi, so much as making sure Sasegawa Ryohei was not arrested for destroying company property. "A true victory is only finished with a man's fists!" the white-haired teenager screamed into the sky. After defeating the bear in virtual reality, the two decided to duel, resulting in the bear being smashed into the arcade machine.

The guards were currently very upset with him. "Young man, step away from the bear!"

"We are extremely not done with our duel yet!" A fire burst into the teenager's eyes. Reine faintly wondered if the young man had Dying Will Flames somewhere inside. "Don't interfere in a battle between men!" In technicality, Ryohei was facing a bear. Reine winced when he saw the elder Sasegawa punch the bear sharply across the jaw.

"C'mon! I know you're better than that, Yogi Bear!" If Reine's memory and records were correct, that bear was named Hoshi.

"H-Hoshi! You punched him!" The guards looked so shocked, but one of them removed his taser. "That's it kid, you and Hoshi are both going to…"

The guards didn't have time to react as Reine shot each one with a paralysis bullet. Soon enough, all of them were lying on the ground, unable to move. Ryohei seemed incredibly confused.

"Did everyone decide to take an extreme nap?" the teen said, confused and scratching his head. Then he smacked his fist against his palm, suddenly remembering something. "Where's Kyoko and Sawada? I was extremely left behind!" And in a trail of smoke, the young man went running down to the exit in hopes of catching up to the group of teenagers.

… Finding it safe to come out of his hiding place, he walked over to the group of men on the ground. He checked to make sure none of them had concussions from falling over and then pulled them aside into the shade where they were out of the way and out of sight. Was it truly necessary to have ten guards appear to subdue a single person? Granted it was Sasegawa Ryohei, who was most definitely not the average teenager despite his normal surroundings.

After putting them away, he found himself looking upon the rest of the zoo and the amusement park rides strewn about the area. He had never been to a zoo before. There was no time for such things. He always wondered why so many came to such places if it was a waste of time. What was so amusing about riding in a train car across a railway? Or seeing animals caged and away from their natural habitat?

He found himself torn between following Tsunayoshi and approaching the rides himself. Would it be okay? Reborn had said he did well, often indicating his job had been fulfilled for the day but...that could change at any moment. But then again, he would never have an excuse to stray here when it was so far away from his young ward ever again. All the research material to be found…

"EXTREMEEEEE!" Reine flinched when the boxing club captain ran up to him, nearly running him over had Reine not dodged him. The teenager subsequently crashed into the bushes where all the guards were. For a second, Reine had been worried that the teenager had hurt himself. But the boxer jumped up, turning around to face him with fiery eyes. "Did you K.O. these guys?!" he yelled at a volume that was louder than necessary.

This was the worst scenario. He was not meant to be in contact with Tsunayoshi's family members. Had he been slipping in his perceptions after days of complacency? He began backing away, trying to avoid the question but the boxer stepped in so close that Reine found himself at a loss as to what to do. "Join the boxing club, Sawada's onii-san!"

...Older brother? But…But… "I'm not…"

"If you join then Sawada will definitely join!" Then he paused, "We should go see him right now!" Wait. What? What is-?

Immediately he ripped his hand out of the teen's grasp and ran for it. It was not the most tactful of plans but he hardly had a choice in the matter. He sprinted away, dodging past people and employees alike. Turning around, he could still see the boxer chasing him as if his attempted escape only inflamed the teen's desire to get him to join his club. "Please...stop following me!" he said, trying to get Sasegawa Ryohei to leave him alone. He was almost as clingy as Iemitsu,

"I extremely refuse! Extreme to the extreme run!" Much to Reine's horror, he found that the teenager had suddenly gained a sudden burst of speed. No matter how far or how fast he ran, the teenager seemed to be hot on his heels.

He flicked on his radio, "Reborn, I am in need of assistance."

It took several moments before the hitman responded. And if anything, he sounded amused. He hadn't…? "Assistance? Of course, Baka-Rei. Enjoy." Enjoy? What did he mean…? He felt something sharp hit the back of his ankle. Turning around he could see Reborn, sniper rifle in hand and a smirk on his face. ..What was Reborn thinking? He fell over, just avoiding the boxer that flew over him - apparently trying to tackle him. "Have fun, Baka-Rei. Take this as a lesson for letting your guard down." The radio flicked off.

...Ah...the Ninth would be disappointed. He clutched his forehead, the fall hadn't broken skin, but it was still unpleasantly warm. Looking up, he saw Ryohei had stopped moving. He knelt down next to the teen, "Are you hurt-!"

"EXTREME!" The teen jumped up, throwing his fists into the air. He then pointed at Reine, screaming, "You're as fast as Sawada! Just as I expected from Sawada's onii-san!"

It seemed like he had no choice but to converse with the fiery teenager. If he let things be Ryohei would most likely report this to Tsunayoshi as well as anyone within the vicinity of his voice. "...I am not an elder brother. You must be mistaken."

He tried to walk away again, but the boxer was persistent. "You look extremely like Sawada though! Are you sure you're not just a long lost older brother? Are you extremely shy? I will extremely help you get your confidence back!"

"No...no-!" The teenager's grip was surprisingly strong. He could break free of it, but he did not wish to cause a larger ruckus in the process. Another stalker was one that he wasn't equipped to deal with.

"Don't worry, Sawada's onii-san, I will make you as daring as the great Muguruma*!" Against his will, Reine was dragged away by the enthusiastic teen. When he turned around he could see Reborn from afar, sitting on the shoulder of one Yamamoto Takeshi, who was followed by Gokudera Hayato and none other than Sawada Tsunayoshi.

"Onii-san! Where'd you go?!" Tsunayoshi called.

Gokudera scoffed, "Why do we need to find that guy anyways? We'd be perfectly fine without him, tenth!"

"D-Don't say such things, Kyoko-chan would be sad if her brother got lost here."

Yamamoto laughed, "Maa, maa, don't worry Tsuna, I'm sure we'll find him. How hard can senpai be to find?"

Ryohei stiffened. "There they are! Hey-!"

Reborn was testing him. And this was probably one of the worst possible days to do so. He was not exactly familiar with the area and he didn't understand its social customs… This was bad. So he grabbed Ryohei and threw them both into the bushes, narrowly avoiding the trio. He had to keep his hand down tight on the boxer's mouth, lest a single word give them away.

He could breathe again when Tsunayoshi and his famiglia walked past and let go of Ryohei.

"Are we playing extreme hide-and-seek, Sawada's onii-san?!" Reine put his hand back over the teen's mouth.

"You must not tell Tsunayoshi of my presence here." The boxer looked like he wanted to protest. "…Please" Reine made sure to note that extra politeness equaled cooperation.

Silence. Then the white-haired teenager spoke up, "But Sawada would be happy to see you! And we're at the zoo so you can have extreme fun with Sawada! Why don't you go extremely say hello?!"

Reine made sure to take note to bring duct tape with him at all times. Ryohei's voice was far too loud to speak comfortably in public. "I...You don't understand I've never been...I can't meet Tsunayoshi."

For a second, Reine saw something far more calculating. It was odd, to see the impulsive teenager wear that thoughtful expression. Then understanding dawned on his face. "I will take my leave…" He stood up, edging away from the boxer again.

"You've never been to the zoo before?!"

It seemed the boxer had completely ignored his desire to stay away from Tsunayoshi. "That is not the problem…"

"Is that why you're shy?!" Reine flinched at the close proximity of the teen to his face. His wrist was grabbed again, and he was being dragged to the nearest rollercoaster. "I will extremely help you! And then you won't be shy and you'll meet Sawada again!"

"No…" But Ryohei wasn't listening to him anymore.

"And then you and Sawada can join the boxing club!"

...It always came back to that didn't it?

For the last few hours that the amusement park was open, he was dragged to and fro by Sasegawa Ryohei. At the end, he gave into Ryohei's request and 'joined' the boxing club - on the condition that the boxer would not mention his presence to Tsunayoshi or to anyone else. The boxer appeared reluctant but he nodded, proclaiming that a real man keeps his promise. To the extreme.

…

…

_As of late Sasegawa Ryohei has found it fit to call me his underclassman, despite me being older than him. He seems to be surprised by the fact that I am five years older. He also proclaims that I should drink more milk in order to become taller. I have pointed out to him that I am in fact, taller than him by several inches, but he continues to protest that I should at least be the height of the seniors in high school._

_It appears that height correlates to age and therefore respect. Because I have yet to reach the height of his seniors and also due to my ignorance of social customs, Sasegawa Ryohei has declared me as his younger brother or Otouto. It appears that such a title befalls anyone lacking in experience just as much as anyone lacking in age. At least, in the case of Sasegawa Ryohei. _

_The question of whether Sasegawa Ryohei is a reliable observation subject and source of information has yet to be answered. His actions, as observed, have been considered abnormal numerous times. It should be taken into account any results coming from Sasegawa Ryohei should be placed under extreme suspicion until cleared by more 'normal' individuals._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Reine is really bad at espionage. And diplomacy. And normal things. Damn it. **

**Hope you liked this, those who have even bothered to stick around. And those that have reviewed. Y'all are ****awesome. You awesome people you. **


End file.
